three days

there was a day
quiet and benign
when they called me out
and set my young eyes
to feast upon that horror
which, above all else,
i held most abhorrent.
the cow, dead, bloated
rank for days, undiscovered,
and then by chance found
engrossed by union with
a most glorious host
churning, writhing,
the blind horde moving
as a single unit
into the carcass
out to the sun
and into the carcass again,
their rigorous roll
with such energy fraught
that the mass did
send off a violent steam.
those dread vile worms
that, since my lowly birth,
seized my heart with fear
when no other thing or man or beast
gave me slightest pause,
save the heights
that called for my leap
into death's sure grip.
they laughed when i cried,
refusing to bait my hooks
lest i touch the bane,
and associate myself again
with such great profanity.
in time i learned
to accept their station
to eschew
my fear at the sight of them
rather than the sight of them
for they are needful
and shall remain thus
as long as humanity abides
and corpses litter
the green earth.

***

on another day
i succumbed and pleaded
with all things holy and profane
to speak to me
to fill me with the Spirit,
with knowledge, truth and power.
she had challenged me
to the day of her death
as the interpretations
of the tongues
cried pointedly for one
to come forth from darkness.
she called me out
for the hardness of my heart
and the wickedness
in my silent soul
and with many prayers
did battle with things
locked in these limpid eyes.
she died, taking to her grave
the interpretations
and the tongues,
so i had peace from them
for a time too short.
but on that day,
beleaguered by the frailty
of my mortal ken
i turned from my hardness
and asked the Light to come to me
to fill me with power and all wisdom
that i might KNOW with certain surety,
that i was to be a sword
for the Almighty One.
and then did i rise
and in a language i knew not
engage the unseen
in probing conversation
for three long hours
as the parishioners gazed on
in fear masked in wonder.
unlike the tongues they'd known
which came and passed
with hasty admonitions and blessings
for the equal edification of all
ensuring lunch's timely arrival
this long night's vigil portended
some thing that settled uneasily
on the shallows of their hearts.
transfixed they remained
to watch me entreat the unseen one
to make demands with great fury
to pause for replies
to laugh with utter delight
to cry with bitter woe
while onerously arguing
topics of unknown importance
with a spirit still unknown to me.

•••

on this day
i thank the light
for turning my eye
to matters long shunned.
with this black heart
i go now to discern
all things that i know
yet know not
yet
and to discover
with greatest certainty
all that
i am.